'When I left the military I felt quite alone': Female veterans call for more support

A former soldier who came under mortar fire in Iraq says women who performed dangerous front-line roles need more recognition and support.

Dr Bex Bennett, from Derbyshire, co-founded community interest company Sisters in Service, which has recruited 160 members across the UK since it began in May last year.

The group helps female military veterans, who now work in healthcare, to support each other through meetings and activities.

Dr Bennett, now an NHS forensic psychiatrist in Nottinghamshire, says women face additional challenges because so few people understand their military experience.

Dr Bennett trained at Sandhurst with the Duke of Sussex and spent several years as a British Army officer with the Royal Electrical and Mechanical Engineers.

A separate deployment in southern Afghanistan involved travelling to remote bases and interacting with local communities.

She believes many people still have a "very outdated idea" that only men deploy to the front line in modern conflicts.

"Often women go out alongside their male counterparts and do female searching and engage with female civilians," Dr Bennett says.

Dr Bennett jokes about close shaves when mortars landed within metres of where she was sleeping in Iraq.

"I managed to avoid anything particularly catastrophic... although my laundry did get blown up one time," she says.

"When anyone has served in Iraq and Afghanistan, it will always leave some scars, it can sometimes be really difficult to talk about.

"When I left the military, I did feel quite isolated, I felt quite alone. I don't think anyone really understood my journey."

Dr Bennett believes female veterans often avoid traditional spaces, such as local Royal British Legion clubs, because of people's misconceptions about the military.

"Women can find it quite daunting," she says. "Sometimes people presume that they haven't served, or they are the wife of someone who has served, and that can be off-putting."

A spokesperson for the Royal British Legion says its clubs are open to everyone.

"As the country's largest military charity, we're proud to be at the heart of a national network that supports our whole Armed Forces community," they added.

But Dr Bennett says Sisters in Service provides "cathartic" support and connection that women can struggle to find after leaving the Armed Forces.

"It's about meeting people that have done similar things, trodden similar paths, and being able to discuss that, and laugh and joke about things that have been happening," Dr Bennett says.

The women meet for meals or coffee, and dog walks in Derbyshire and Nottinghamshire.

They also run online meetings for Sisters in Service members who live further afield, and they are looking at organising fitness activities and residential retreats.

Mel Dyke, who lives in Staffordshire, says the network is a "vital community" for women who leave the military.

"I found my transition quite difficult because I left when I had my eldest daughter," she says.

"One day I was in a supportive Army environment, then the next I was on maternity leave and became a civilian."

Mrs Dyke laughs as she describes her deployment to Iraq as a clerk with the Royal Engineers.

"You often hear the term 'pen-pusher' as clerks out there, but particularly in Iraq I was used for female searches so I would go out on search patrols," she says.

"Going out in a vehicle as 'top cover', so standing on a vehicle with my rifle, providing cover for the driver."

Mrs Dyke says the most difficult time came after she transferred to the Queen Alexandra's Royal Army Nursing Corps, and treated battle casualties at the former national military rehabilitation centre Headley Court, in Surrey.

"I was having to look after friends as patients," she says. "It was really personal because my husband was still out on operations in Afghanistan, but members of his regiment were coming back to Headley Court."

One of those patients suffered a traumatic brain injury in an explosion that killed his comrade. They were both close friends of Mrs Dyke's husband, Chris.

"It was really difficult trying to live life as normal knowing what's going on in Afghanistan... it was emotionally draining, and I [was] also pregnant," Mrs Dyke adds.

Gemma Saunders, a psychotherapist who also worked at Headley Court, co-founded Sisters in Service with Dr Bennett.

Miss Saunders says women who leave the service may have "scars" that compound the challenges they face after moving into demanding healthcare roles.

"They are trained to not show any weakness," she says. "They have to be as good as the men, their counterparts, if not better.

"When they leave service, that doesn't leave them, so sometimes it's much harder for them to reach out and access support.

"Women will carry on and keep going, to carry that mental load more than men. They can come across as a hard shell to crack.

"It's trying to break those barriers that it is OK to ask for help."

Dr Bennett was awarded an honorary master's degree by the University of Derby this summer, for supporting female veterans and for her mental health work.

She recently spent six months working with HMP Nottingham inmates, which included male veterans with mental health conditions.

But Dr Bennett says Sisters in Service needs to "spread the word" about women's front-line role in recent conflicts.

"You are seen, and your experiences matter. There is strength in community, and you are not alone," she adds.