Rematch review -- a soccer game that's brilliant even if you don't like the sport

The author of this review is British, but believe it or not, not every British person loves football soccer. That's why you should take my word for it that, even if you're not interested in the beautiful game, you should take a look at an actually beautiful game: Rematch. It's a new five-v-five (there are also three-v-three and four-v-four modes) soccer game developed by Sloclap, a studio best known for making slick, martial arts-based action titles.

There's no such thing as a foul in Rematch, and players can't ever be offside. There are no throw-ins or corner kicks because the entire pitch is surrounded by walls that players can use to set up rebound and volley plays. Goalkeepers swap in and out as players switch roles depending on their position on the pitch, and balls scream overhead from bicycle kicks that sound like an F-35 piercing the sound barrier.

It feels like soccer in its purest form. Bodies jostle for the ball and collide, defenders body check open attackers, players make daring runs across the pitch, and keepers make sweeping dives, saving potentially game-winning goals in the final seconds. It's soccer distilled into the fantasy of the sport, pure physicality, where every play is a highlight reel.

There's no AI -- every player is controlled by a real person. Where sports sim games automate a lot of the positioning with pre-match strategies, here everyone needs to understand the role they should play in that exact moment, adapting on the fly. You can't spam buttons, either. Every kick, pass, tackle and interception is deliberate and precise -- if you don't press the input at just the right moment, if you don't control the direction of a pass (done with the left stick) or a shot (aimed with the camera on the right stick) you'll be out of luck.

Every action feels weighty and smooth. While there's a pretty steep learning curve, particularly when trying to take a shot from a pass delivered from your side of the pitch, forcing you to look at the target and not the ball, it feels incredible once you nail the basics. There's also a high skill ceiling for people who want to master every nuance of the tight and original control scheme, though not as impenetrable a skill ceiling as that of Rocket League since you don't have to learn to fly.

Then there's the performance of the game itself. This is Season 0 for Rematch. There are still technical issues that need to be fixed, and the majority of them are known issues that are being prioritized right now by Sloclap. Sometimes players (and the ball) teleport around the pitch due to desync issues. Sometimes, the enemy team will get the ball during your kickoff for no reason. There are fairly frequent hard crashes that can throw games in Ranked. There are lag spikes. When you set the game up initially, it doesn't auto-detect your resolution on PC, and since it's designed around controllers, it forces you to flick through each resolution one at a time until you eventually get it outputting at 4K. Stability on console seems slightly better right now, but the issues will likely be gone in a few weeks anyway.

It's a hard game to put down. When a match ends in a draw after the six minutes are up, it goes into overtime until one side scores. This sometimes doubles the length of a game, and the stakes feel higher and higher with every minute that passes, every possession lost. It's intense and exciting, and that tension is heightened by the dynamic music in the background that ebbs and flows depending on the action on-pitch, building up to a crescendo as you sprint toward goal with the ball at your feet -- abruptly cutting to a low throb when the keeper saves it, the sound sucking out of the stadium so you can hear a pin drop. It's smart stuff.

Once all the issues are smoothed over, Rematch could end up being the next big esport. The fundamentals are there, and it's only going to get better. Sloclap hasn't made a bad game yet and even though Rematch isn't what anyone expected from the studio, it's an absolute must-play for anyone who loves competitive games, even if you don't care about Ronaldo.